Thursday, March 15, 2012

Pregnancy Blues

During pregnancy, woman wants the husband to show more love and care for them. The woman needs all kind of support and help from the man he loves and trust.

The first time I discovered that 
I am pregnant was a memorable one, since that was my first time. I was filled with anxiety as well as excitement. Both Richard and me was happy. Pregnancy was hard and I had written at Happiness Is Bliss, signs of early pregnancy, which was so unbearable for me. It was no fun at all, but torture. Soon the baby was born and everything was fine. 

Most women suffered postnatal depression after their birth of their child. But I have no problem with my first child. I knew everything about breastfeeding, feeding the baby, changing diapers and so on. I spent time with the baby and the three of us(Richard, baby and me) were okay. I started working again when the baby was about mine months old. That was where problems started and day by day, little problems become a big problem. Work, family, children and housework was still manageable. His mother always told him not to 'pamper' the wife, and what a good teaching is that. Thanks to the advice she gave to the son! She did not know what is love and no wonder her marriage was a broken one. How I wish my husband can show me some love (but to his mother, that is called "Pampering" me!).

Things were fine until I discovered I am pregnant again some months later. As usual, I felt terrible and moody. With so much work, both home and workplace, and now during that time, I was pregnant, it was a hard time. I felt totally stressed out on top of the feeling nauseous and I could not do anything like my first pregnancy. I got angry with husband who are not caring and not understanding. Since I was not feeling well, nauseous all the time, he should help out. Helping out and doing extra work is showing your love and not 'Pampering' me! Despite telling him my feeling, nothing was changed. I was not able to do any housework. He had to do them after he finished work(forced to do it, since I was not able to do anything). Our family time were reduced, more unhappiness in the family. Soon, he had more overtime and more late hours... I got depressed as well. 

I feel that pregnant woman needs care and love very much. During pregnancy, the hormones in the body 'disrupt' their normal body function and not all woman can cope with such body changes. Things are especially harder if the pregnant woman needs to look after another small kid or even more when they are pregnant. When there are nobody to help them, they feel lost with no support. 

However, even though my second pregnancy was not a pleasurable one, it was a much easier labour. I was depressed during my second pregnancy. My husband was not supportive and understanding. To make matter worse, I discovered only after the birth of the baby that he was actually having an affair...... that explained.... 

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